Fresh Eyes In The Morning...

Canceled Class, A Pigeon in the Shower, and ANDREW GARFIELD

2011-07-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

This has been the weirdest day of my life.

First off, I may or may not have gone to bed crying last night about how upsetting my life has been lately. And on top of being depressed, I wasn't prepared for my 8am class thanks to AMDA's library sucking. So, I decided I was going to skip that class.

I lucked out times 10. Class was canceled!

Then, I wake up at noon-ish to go to my second class and I'm in the shower, sitting down to shave, and all of a sudden I hear a loud noise and feel a strong breeze above my head. I look up, and there is a pigeon not two inches from my head. THERE'S A PIGEON IN MY SHOWER!!!!

After the ten seconds it takes me to realize what's just happened, I start hyperventilating and run out of the shower to inform my roommate. At this point I can't really form sentences because I'm so freaked out, so it come out as "There's a ... there's... it's .... what?... PIGEON!!!... SHOWER!!!! PIGEON IN THE SHOWER!!!! How... what?... Oh my God!!!!"

After about five minutes, I've managed to collect myself and find the courage to resume my shower.

So I go to class and it's nice. We finished watching West Side Story. So I'm heading back to my dorm and I feel the need to go get a cup of Chai at the coffee shop down the street. So I part from the friends I'm walking with and head to the beautiful land of yummy Chai.

I walk in, and sitting at the very first table with two friends is Andrew Garfield. You know, the guy from The Social Network and THE NEW SPIDER MAN!!!!

So, I compose myself. He's just a person and he's here with friends. Don't freak out. So I turn around after getting my chai and he's definitely checking me out. Like, looking me up and down, but in a dorky adorable way.

Can I just say that ...

THIS GUY IS ON MY COMPUTER WALLPAPER!!!!!

Today has been the craziest day ever.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 30

2011-05-14T22:54:00.000-07:00

Day 30: Someone you miss.

My best friend. Sarah Elizabeth Alvarez.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 29

2011-05-04T23:39:00.000-07:00

Day 29: A picture that can always make you smile.

Here are two.

My beautiful niece.

My brothers and I.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 28

2011-05-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

Day 28: Something you're afraid of.

The main thing I'm afraid of is snakes, but just seeing pictures of them gives me the heebie jeebies. So instead here is a picture of a gorgeous man, Mr. Andrew Garfield. And the great thing is that it fits in this category because I am afraid of attractive men. I love them, but I'm terrified of them.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 27

2011-04-30T19:48:00.000-07:00

Day 27: A picture of you and a family member.

Me and my Granny. I love her more than words can say. She is a super hero.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 26

2011-04-25T23:11:00.001-07:00

Day 26: Something that means a lot to you.

My faith and religion. Nothing means more that knowing that I have a Father in Heaven who I can go to at anytime, whether it's just to talk or if I need something, and he will be there to listen. He sent his song, Jesus Christ, to earth to suffer and die for us on the cross, because he loved us so very much that he wanted to make sure we could be forgiven of our sins, be purified, and live with him again. I know that through him, I can be with my family for all eternity. I know that through the gospel of Jesus Christ that anything is possible. I'm thankful for the knowledge that we have a living prophet, Thomas S. Monson, on this earth who recieves direct revelation from God and leads and guides us. I'm thankful that I can have personal revelation through my personal relationship with my Father in Heaven. I know that it is the only way for me to truly be happy. I can't even begin to say how much I have been blessed. I know for a fact, that if it weren't for my faith, that I would not be here on this earth. I love being a "Mormon". Sometimes it's really hard, but in the end, it's always worth it. I love this gospel with all my heart and all that it stands for. It means the world to me.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 25

2011-04-22T20:10:00.000-07:00

Day 25: A Picture of Your Day

Today we performed "The Wells Fargo Wagon" from The Music Man in my musical theater class. I was a 15 year old girl from 1912, thus, the bow.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 24

2011-04-21T17:36:00.000-07:00

Day 24: Something you wish you can change.

I wish I could fix the Clean Water Crisis. It breaks my heart the amount of people that have to drink water that looks like this and what it does to their bodies, when all we have to do in America, is turn on a faucet and we have drinkable water.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 23

2011-04-20T17:30:00.000-07:00

Day 23: Your favorite book

I have two.

This book changed my life and continues to change it every time I read it. I know it's such a stereotypical indie/hipster kid book, but I don't care.

This is the most inspiring book ever created. My theater teacher in high school read it to us at theater banquet and it hit me how much this isn't just a children's book. Now every time I babysit, I try and read this at bedtime and I always end up crying. For my 19th birthday when I was leaving for college, my best friend gave me this book. Then a couple months later, school and friends were really getting to me, so I decided to read this book. As I opened the book, letter fell out of the book. It was from my best friend telling me how much she loves me and how I've changed her life for the better. I have never felt more special than in that moment. I just love this book so much.

3's and 7's

2011-04-19T23:07:00.000-07:00

So... they say death happens in 3's and 7's. So, I hope this is the end.

In October, my beautiful, sweet, amazing dog, Hanna, died of cancer.

In January, my loving, soft, sweet, and amazing cat, Miss Cleo, died of cancer.

Last week, my strong, hardheaded, gentle, inspiring, amazing grandfather, Billy Jack, died.

Last week, my roommate's 2nd cousins on her mom's side and on her dad's side both died.

Today, a teacher at my school, whom I wasn't personally acquainted with, except for having the door opened by him and the occasional smile, but who meant a great deal to a lot of my friends, died of lung cancer.

That's 3 in my family 7 from people in my close circle.

My granny, who means the world to me, was just diagnosed with cancer last week.

I know that with death comes a relief from pain and a reunion with our father in Heaven and that it isn't really a bad thing, but I pray to God that the cycle has stopped. I pray to God...

I dedicate this blog to all of those who have recently passed with love and admiration for the lives they lived.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 22

2011-04-17T15:12:00.000-07:00

Day 22: Something you wish you were better at.

This was really hard. I feel like, as I woman in the culture we live in, were always told that we're not good enough. Therefore, even as the strong woman I believe myself to be, there are so many things I wish I were better at.

But, I managed to narrow it down to two.

I wish I were a better missionary. I tend to feel like I'm always lacking here. I guess it's just so hard to share something that is so special to you when their is a chance the person you're sharing with will ridicule it.

And of course, singing. It seems like I never feel like I'm quite up to par in the presence of my fellow singers. I know I have a gift, but I wish that gift were stronger.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 21

2011-04-12T18:30:00.000-07:00

Day 21: Something You Wish You Could Forget

My brother told me when and where my niece was conceived...

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 20

2011-04-08T12:17:00.000-07:00

Day 20: Somewhere you want to travel

County Cork- Ireland. This is where my great grandfather set sail for America over 100 years ago.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 19

2011-04-05T22:39:00.000-07:00

Day 19: A Picture and a Letter

Dear Meredith,

Here you are, on your first day of school, about to depart on your life long journey. As you begin your life, I want you to know that life is beautiful. It is going to suck... a lot, but you are strong, and you will get through it. Know that you always have your family and your Heavenly Father to lean on. They will always be there for you no matter what.

Also, be confident in yourself. I know you're insecure about your hair and your freckles, but they are what make you unique. You are beautiful and should embrace it. While people might make fun of it for you now, someday it will be what attracts people to you. Little kids are stupid and don't know what real beauty is.

Most of all, never give up on your dreams. The Lord has blessed you with so many talents and you should share them. Don't be scared and don't let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough. You are amazing. You are talented. You are beautiful. Never let anyone tell you any different. Stand up for yourself. And love yourself and everyone around you.

Love,

Yourself age 20

Keep Your Clothes On!

2011-04-01T16:32:00.000-07:00

Here's the deal...
I HATE hot weather! Like, with a passion. It just goes against everything in my nature. First off, I'm obviously a ginger. Why is that relevant? Because it means that I am pale. Not normal person pale, but I'm-outside-for-ten-seconds-and-I-get-a-sunburn/ skin cancer/ ugly freckles kind of pale. And hot weather means a lot of sun, which means a miserable Meredith.

Second comes the modesty issue. I like to keep covered. That is also in my blood. I'm a good little Mormon girl. We don't do bikini's, mini skirts, short short, and tank tops. My body is a temple, so I treat it as such. But it's freaking hard to do that in hot weather!

And third.... duh duh duh.... the body issue. I'm a girl, so naturally I am body conscious. That's why I like winter. In the winter, it doesn't matter how fat you think you are, cause every body looks fatter than normal. We all pile on bulky sweaters and scarves and maybe a couple pounds of blubber too. And it's acceptable because we are trying to keep warm. But in the summer, everything comes off. So, I see the stupid LA skinny bitches (pardon my French) walking around wearing barely any clothes, and first off, I'm like "what whores!", then I get jealous that I don't have the body to wear those clothes even if I wanted to, and then I get jealous of how warm I am compared to them.

In conclusion, hot weather sucks! I think I need to move to Alaska or Canada or something. ASAP.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 18

2011-03-23T20:07:00.000-07:00

Day 18: Your biggest insecurity.

This one was really hard? How can I put an insecurity into a picture? What is my biggest insecurity? Do I even want to admit my insecurity to myself?

In the end, I decide it would be being left out. I'm always insecure that I'm purposefully being left out because I'm not good enough.

So what's more fitting than Robin with a bunch of Batmen?

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 17

2011-03-22T22:18:00.000-07:00

Day 17: Something that's made a huge impact on your life recently.

My brother was recently in a really bad car accident that should have claimed his life. Thank God he's okay, but nothing effects you quite like thinking you've lost someone you love.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 16

2011-03-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

Day 16: Someone Who Inspires Me

I have never had a teacher support and encourage me so much in my art and in my life as these two people. I love them so very much and I'm so thankful I had the experience of working with them.

Anthony Barrow

AND

THE

Brooks Almy

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 15

2011-03-12T20:36:00.000-08:00

Day 15: Something you want to do before you die.

Here are my top three.

Have a family.

Be on Broadway.

Be Ariel in some form.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 14

2011-03-12T00:31:00.000-08:00

Day 14: Someone you can't imagine your life without.

My mom.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 13

2011-03-09T20:37:00.000-08:00

Day 13: My favorite band.

The Foo Fighters.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 12

2011-03-08T12:47:00.000-08:00

Day 12: Something I love.

My beautiful niece, Evangeline.

(That face is definitely related to me.)

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 11

2011-03-07T23:06:00.000-08:00

Day 11: Something you hate.

I hate turkeys with a fiery passion. I was once chased by a flock of them. It was probably the most legitimately frightening moment of my entire life. I saw my whole life, all 10 year, flash before my eyes. Never, even if I became a vegetarian, would I ever have remorse for eating these creatures. I mean, have you looked into their eyes? It's like staring into the beady black abyss of death. These animals are Satan's minions.

So yeah, I don't like turkeys.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 10

2011-03-06T22:26:00.000-08:00

Day 10: A picture of you and the person you do the most messed up things with.

It's a tie.

Miss Hanna Rose Ohia Burke

AND

Miss Jade Anna Rosenberg

Awesome.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 9

2011-03-05T01:31:00.000-08:00

Day 9 Challenge: A picture of the person who's helped you through the most. I couldn't decide which one to put up (can you see a pattern of indecisiveness here?) so I here are my top two.

My mom (pictured with me before my senior prom) who is my world. (I love you Mommy!)

And my brother (pictures with me at the Golden Gate Bridge a couple summers ago) who has become my own personal therapist via phone (thank you BYU psychology degree!).

Both whom I love very very much! (I love all my family, no biases are presented here! Just facts!)

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 8

2011-03-03T17:23:00.000-08:00

Today's assignment was to post a picture that makes you laugh. I couldn't decide, as usual, so here are five.

I look like every 4 year old cousin you've ever known. Thank you Musical Theater.

For East last year, some friends and I went to Malibu Creek State Park and ended up climbing mountain. On the way down, I slipped on nothing and ended up in the almost splits. I don't think I've ever laughed that hard.

A prime example of my awesomely weird family. This is suppose to say whatever season we are currently in, but whenever my brothers or their friends are at the house it always end up saying something else, usually vulgar. Then it's a race to change it back before anyone from church (i.e. The missionaries) come by the house.

Not much explanation needed here. I just have awesome friends who sometimes get really angry in parking lots.

My brother once had a dream that this was a poster hanging in his room. So he made it a reality.

Secrets

2011-03-02T21:58:00.000-08:00

Secrets, secrets are no fun;

Unless they are for everyone.

But for everyone, they are not.

Thus we come to a crossroads of sort.

The sort to which we must decide

Who we want to hurt.

And who do we want to save?

What, my friends, is sacred,

And what shall we end?

Secrets, secrets are not fun;

Secrets are not for everyone.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 7

2011-03-02T14:30:00.000-08:00

I couldn't decide what my most treasure item was. So these are a few of my favorite things...

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 6

2011-03-01T18:45:00.000-08:00

A picture of someone you would like to trade places with for a day.

Alice Ripley. Why? She's gorgeous, she's tremendously talented, she's the lead in my favorite show, she's a Tony winner, she's nuts, and.... She's ALICE FRICKIN RIPLEY!

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 5

2011-02-26T23:38:00.000-08:00

My favorite memory. Meeting my niece for the first time.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 4

2011-02-25T22:05:00.000-08:00

A photo of my night. Boredom on my computer, listening to Disney songs, wishing I were I little kid again, and being cold.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 3

2011-02-22T16:06:00.000-08:00

A picture of the cast of my favorite show, "Community".

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 2

2011-02-16T14:31:00.000-08:00

A picture of you and the person you've been closest to for the longest amount of time.

Devin Davis. He's been one of my best friends since I was 11 years old. And now he's making us all proud on his mission in Armenia.

30 Day Photo Challenge: Day 1

2011-02-15T16:09:00.000-08:00

1. I'm am completely obsessed with making sure my eyebrows look good.

2. You can tell how stressed I am by how messy my room is.

3. I sleep with a Cheshire cat stuffed animal every night.

4. I hardly ever brush my hair.

5. I have just, within the last month, started eating salads.

6. I want to be Ariel from The Little Mermaid and I will make it happen.

7. I have already attended the temple at least 5 times this year. That's more than the last two years combined.

8. Until I started drama club in the sixth grade, I was determined to be either an interior decorator or a Meteorologist.

9. I'm slightly obsessed with wedding planning. (shhhhh, don't tell the boys!)

10. For about a year when I was little, I wouldn't eat cheese pizza or stuffed crust pizza because it reminded me of octopi. That really creeped me out.

V-day Chicks and Dudes

2011-02-14T21:45:00.000-08:00

I've had a delightful Valentine's Day with two of my loves, consisting of sleeping until noon, waking up with beastly cramps, moving my friend into her new apartment, grocery shopping, and watching Sweeney Todd. Very romantic if I must say so myself.

So, while I'm in the spirit of things, I would just like to tell you all a few things that I love. They are as follows:

- I love my little nugget of a niece.

- I love my amazing friends here at school.

- I love singing.

- I love sleeping in as late as I want.

- I love the show "Spring Awakening".

- I love my family.

- I love blogging.

- I love not having to move.

- I love attending the temple every week.

- I love watching the guys in "Fresh and Easy" scrambling to buy Valentine's Flowers.

- I love living in Los Angeles.

- I love skyping with Caitlin Cannon.

- I love being able to belt.

- I love ModCloth.

- I love my roommates.

- I love not hating Valentine's Day any more.

The End Is Near

2011-02-07T17:54:00.000-08:00

The semester's almost over!!! Though, I think I might die before my last demo on Wednesday. I really think I might die before my acting demo tomorrow (That's just my hope on the last one). Then as of 5:20 pm on Wednesday, I will be free, unless by some act of God, I'm good enough to get chosen for select demos. Thursday can't come soon enough. I might die of relief when this is all over.

I still have 5 more semesters of this... It's a good thing I love my teachers and I love what I do.

Sometimes...

2011-02-01T00:05:00.000-08:00

Sometimes things are going just fine in your life and then God sends a curve ball, and you're like, "Hey, this could be really awesome, or this could really suck." And you hope it will be awesome, so you wait for it to be awesome, but then you realize you've been waiting for a really long time and nothing is happening and you were happier before and you wish the curve ball had never been thrown. Then you get sad and sulk and people start avoiding you or being nice to you but really hoping you would just shut up and leave them alone. Sometimes this happens. And sometimes you have really awesome friends who don't care how lame or depressing you can be, but see you for the amazing person you are. Sometimes people are really awesome and make life worth it. Sometimes I love people a lot. And sometimes things suck, but it's okay cause you love your friends and they love you.

Yep. Sometimes that happens.

Meredith's Musing of the Moment

2011-01-30T17:46:00.000-08:00

- Zicam is a really weird word. Zicam...

- I love chicken pot pies.

-Thanks to a certain friend who will not be named, every time I look at my autograph from Idina Menzel, I think it says "Zesty luck!" It actually says "Best of luck!" I can't decide which I like more.

- I have no patience.

- I should go to the Olympics for Procrastination

-I'm pretty sure rainy days in Southern California are more depressing than almost any other place in the world.

- I saw a black midget at CVS today. I feel really sorry for that guy.

-I hate how oblivious I am to the world. The AMDA bubble is not cool with me. I like knowing about current events and pretending I can actually do something to help.

- Why don't guys ever get named "teases"?

-WHY DOES EVERYONE KNOW YOU?????????

-Don't answer the last statement. Chances are it wasn't for you. I'm a drama whore, so I wrote it. Move on please. Thank you kindly.

-My weirdness never ceases.

-That's what she said will never get old.

-Sexy man wall gives me endless joy.

-Mormon boys can be so adorable.

I think that's all. Maybe... Time to go memorize a bunch of crap for class tomorrow.

Garden State

2011-01-29T00:07:00.000-08:00

I was in a mood. You know, one of those typical young adult angsty moods us 20 something years olds are known for. So, I decided to watch "Garden State". I had forgotten what a stellar movie it is. The last time I watched it was probably my freshman or sophomore year of high school, and it changed my life. The movie and the music. I actually listened to the soundtrack on the way to Seminary every morning to help keep me calm to the fact that I was awake at 5:45 in the morning when I didn't necessarily have to be. It became the soundtrack to my life. It's weird though, the movie brought me back to that place in my life, which was a huge turning point in itself, but it also appealed to me in a completely different way now. I guess when I first saw the movie, I was really searching for myself. I was 16 years old, clinically depressed, and completely lost. And now, I'm 20 years old, still clinically depressed, but dealing and managing, and pretty lost as to where I'm going with my life. I guess, this is just the quintessential "finding yourself" movie. I don't know why it seems to speak to people of my generation so strongly, but if I had to guess, I would say that the characters are just super relatable. Everyone goes through a point in their life where they don't know which direction is up, and it's just nice to know you're not alone in you quest for stability.

So, Zach Braff, thank you for making this beautiful thing. Thank you.

The Sun Has Come Out in Hollywood

2011-01-23T00:50:00.001-08:00

It's been a weird day. It started off with me waking up before noon on Saturday, which is a very rare occurrence. I needed to go to Samuel French to get a play for one of my classes, so Jade accompanied me so I wouldn't get creeped on. Well, on the way there, I look to my left while at a light and I see someone wearing a leopard print coat. Of course that got my attention, because I'm slightly obsessed with leopard print. But then I noticed something peculiar, first off, it's like, 75 degrees out, so not fur coat weather, second, the person was wearing a dress over jeans, and third, it was a homeless man. Only in Hollywood would you see a homeless tranny. Then on the drive back, we saw Barney, as in "I love you, you love me", walking down the street with his head off. Needless, to say, it ruined Jade's whole concept of life and the world. And then, I found Sudafed in my car, which was a total win, since I've been sick with no medicine since Tuesday.

Then tonight, I had my first legitimate, with an audience, performance at AMDA. It was absolutely awesome. Broadway great, Danny Gurwin (Laurie in the OBC of Little Women) was our director. So that in it's self was great, but he also complemented Jade and I on our performance and said that we were really funny! I can honestly say that is one of the best compliments I have gotten in my entire life. I mean Danny Freaking Gurwin liked my performance! AND my voice lasted through both performances!

AND it's finally sunny in California! Imagine that?

So, now that I have a renewed confidence in my performance capabilities (which is a good thing since I plan on making a living this way), life seems a little brighter. So here's to a bright future and hopefully many great performances and compliments to come!

Diary of A Sicky Kid

2011-01-21T00:17:00.000-08:00

I'm sick and I have a vocal master class tomorrow and two performances on Saturday (my first show at AMDA too!). This sucks. And on top of everything, I don't know what to do, because I usually play the mamma and take care of everyone when they're sick. So, what do I do when I'm sick?

8:30 am make-up class tomorrow. Uhhhgggg.................................

Why does my body hate me so?

I Did It!!!

2011-01-17T19:53:00.000-08:00

Something finally went well in my life/career! I finally landed an audition! It's been years since I have been in an actual show and now I will be performing in the AMDA Cafe Series this Saturday! I can't tell you how excited and happy this makes me! I just wanted to share my new good fortune with all of you. Here's hoping it's the start of a happy trend in my life!

Creative Writing Poetry Assignment

2011-01-14T18:47:00.001-08:00

So, I finally got my poetry assignment back in my creative writing class and I am eager to share them with you as I got a 95 on them. The first is in sonnet form, so that was an interesting learning experience, and the second and third are both free verse, so I had a much more enjoyable time working on them. I hope you enjoy them.

Wanting

To love is more then I have known in life.

It likes to punch me in the face a lot.

By giving me a lot of pain and strife

And turning me into an, almost, sot.

But still, I’d like to know it very soon;

To feel it hold me tightly with it’s arms

And draw me close under the silv’ry moon

And keep me near forever with it’s charms.

If love would give me something beautiful,

With pink and yellow flowers like a song,

Whose greatness makes me sing and fills my soul.

Then life would never ‘gain do any wrong.

It’s cool ‘cause I don’t need to have it now.

But soon would make it easier, and how.

“A Man”

I’m full, like a balloon

Sweet and fragile

Ready to burst

So lovely and perfect

This feeling sublime

Ecstasy.

I’m enveloped completely

With thoughts of you

Slowly singing sweetly

Songs of seduction

Now wrap your strong arms around my waist

Heaven.

You are bewitching

I am held captive by your spell

A wizard of mythical status

Voldemort and Dumbledore can’t compete

Your wand contains my heart strings

Magic.

Tissue and muscle

That’s all it is, in the physical sense

So why this emotion?

Why all this strain?

Love is so much more than a feeling.

My heart.

I’m afraid for the future.

Time’s terrible torture tests

God brought you back into my life

What a beautiful gift.

But how to use it?

A Do over.

We cannot control our lives

Despite how hard we may try.

There is a plan

It is controlled madness

All we can do is wait.

Faith.

“A Boy”

How many tears will I cry ?

Salty drops of purity

My tears will never lie

One

For the day you appeared

Two

For the years you were gone

Three

For when, again you appeared

like a mirage in my desert

Four

For the your personage being real

Five

For your kindness, your heart, and your smile

Six

For all the things I hope we will be

Seven

For all the things we may never be

Eight

For the nights spent lying awake

On the bathroom floor

Nine

For the times you opened my door

Ten

For not being able to see myself with anyone but you

How many tears will I cry?

The answer is unknown

But innumerable if I don’t try.

Love, Love, Love

2011-01-12T23:27:00.000-08:00

Love seems to be the main subject on my mind as of late. All sorts of love, romantic love, self love, love of humanity, spiritual love, friendly love, lack of love, just love love love love. I don't know why, maybe it's just my idealist nature. I just love love. I love feeling it and giving it. Now, there are only certain types of love a have been given, but I think I've given every kind of love possible. I just love to love. I have so many things in my life to love. I'm kind of down at the moment, but the thought of all the love that I am surrounded by gives me hope for me future. If everyone would love each other with even an ounce of the love we, as children of God, are capable of, this world would be infinitely more beautiful. I believe that with love we could end poverty, end hunger, end greed, and end war. Not to be a cliche, but the Beatles said it best, "Love is all we need".

Sunday Fun-day Life Lessons

2011-01-09T23:37:00.000-08:00

God works in mysterious ways. On the way to church today, I was talking to a friend about a certain situation in my life and how I've been praying for confirmation one way or the other, but I seem to be stuck in limbo. I was also saying how, since I've been such a good girl for so long, I feel slightly entitled to have my prayers about this answered. Looking back, I know this was all a bit selfish and I see my lack of faith, but in the moment, it was, and has been the way I really feel. So, when we got to church, we went straight to Gospel Doctrine (which is like a Bible study class) and we were talking about Zaccarius's lack of faith when an angel told him his wife would become pregnant and him, subsequently, being stuck dumb until the birth. In contrast we were also talking about Mary's faith when the angel told her that she was going to give birth to Christ. The teacher ended up saying almost the exact phrase that I said in the car about feeling entitled to answers to prayer. I knew at this point in time that Heavenly Father was telling me that I need to have more faith. He always answers prayers, but he does it in his own time, in a way that he sees necessary. It was exactly what I needed to hear at this time in my life. I'm so glad that I have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life and the opportunity to receive personal revelation. I now he loves me. As I said before, God works in mysterious ways.

May you all have a week full of love and happiness and may you all see the beautiful ways in which God works.

Drunkies

2011-01-09T01:53:00.000-08:00

I realized tonight that I kind of love drunk people. Actually it's a bit of a love/hate relationship, cause sometimes they piss me off when they're loud and/or mean. That being said, drunkies just make me feel so good about myself. They always tell me how much they love me and I always get to take care of them, which makes me feel good about myself. I just like taking care of people, like a mom. So yeah. That's that. I'm gonna go take care of my roommate.

Let the Sunshine In

2011-01-07T12:31:00.001-08:00

Last night I saw the opening show of the "Hair" tour in LA. It was absolutely amazing. This show is life changing. Hippie Meredith is now back in full force ready to save the world one hug or smile at a time. I just want to love everyone and show them how special they are. Everyone is beautiful in some way and deserves to know it. God made us all as brothers and sisters and we should treat each other as such. We are all one big family!!!! I LOVE HAIR!!!!!!!!

My friends and roommate better be ready for lots of Mamma's and the Papa's, Simon and Garfunkel, Bob Dylan, Jefferson Airplane, and Creedence being played in the near future.

Revenge

2011-01-02T22:58:00.000-08:00

Loaded and drawn

I’ve a sharp mind

And a quick temper

My weapons of mass destruction

A petite young lady

And easy target

Just aim and shoot

A bullet to the heart

But this heart is made of steel

I draw my weapons

A modern day Annie Oakley

These bullets designed to pierce

Deeper then the depths of Hades

Your mistress is here

Waiting for her revenge.

Unreality

2011-01-02T22:44:00.000-08:00

I got good feedback on this poem, so I thought I'd post it. Enjoy ya'lls.

Unreality

Is that really you,

With your coy smirk?

How charming you are.

Beckoning me to come hither.

Slowly

I proceed with caution

I break through the barrier

Confidence building with every step.

The sort I have never known.

Prince Charming

A God among men.

I am Cinderella

Dressed in my best to impress

Only you.

Always you.

But as I approach

The image becomes fuzzy

Slowly dissipating

Into nothingness

Back into the nothingness I know so well

Dark

Dreary

Home?

You’re not who I thought you were.

Just an empty, poisonous smile.

It's 2011 Kids!

2011-01-02T18:16:00.000-08:00

I have A LOT on my mind right now. Where to start?

I guess I'll talk about my New Years resolutions. I don't normally make any, cause I think their kind of pointless, cause everyone ends up breaking them. But whatever. I'm bored and trying to keep distracted. (I've been cleaning my apartment furiously) This year I've decided that I am going to appear fearless in relationship to .... relationships (That was fun wordplay). I am going to let people know how I feel about them and not hide my feelings anymore, cause it's pointless. Nothing will ever happen unless you do something about it. And, I would like to finally have my first real kiss/ be in a relationship, and telling people how you feel normally is necessary for that. I'm also going to try to loose weight, specifically to rub my awesome bod and hotness in the faces of everyone who has ever turned me down, made fun of me, or doubted me. I know it's kind of a selfish reason, but whatever. I want to strive to be happier this year, since the last year was so crappy. I want to get a role in something, I don't care what, just something. I haven't been in a show in waaaaaay too long, so seeing as how I'm a musical theater major, I should probably start doing so.

So, I guess that's all. My mind is all over the place right now, so I don't know why I actually started this post anymore. Geeze, I'm a hot mess.

Well, here's to happy 2010!!!!! I love you all!!!!!

Just Do It

2010-12-29T00:30:00.000-08:00

I would really like to know how people get to the point where they can live completely in the moment. It always seems like I'm just a second to late. I guess I just put too much trust in fate/the media. Fate, because I think, if it's meant to be, it will happen, which is probably totally wrong. I'm not going to get anywhere unless I take life and make of it what I want. And the media, because they portray decision making as so quick and easy, which is obviously wrong. I don't know. I really want to be the kind of person that lives in the moment and isn't afraid of life, I just don't know how. It's probably a pretty familiar feeling for someone my age. I feel like I'm trapped in "Garden State". Bluuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh!

Maybe Nike is right. Just do it!

Christmas Eve

2010-12-24T18:17:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas Eve. It doesn't feel like it. I was woken up today by my fat cat puking on the end of my bed. I decided that was a sign from God to go back to sleep. I managed to stay in bed until approximately 3 pm. Dad and Seth are out being Santa and Elf, so it's just mom, myself, and the animals... eating Jack-in-the-box, watching "Christmas Vacation". We're in the middle of a lovely thunderstorm. I guess that's just Christmas in the Gibbs household in good old Houston, Texas.

I hope everyone has a merry Christmas and can enjoy the company of family and friends. I encourage everyone to take a little time to remember the true meaning of Christmas and reflect on the birth of the Lord, Jesus Christ.

I love you all!

I Cut Myself Shaving

2010-12-22T23:38:00.001-08:00

Before my razor attacked my talus I was musing on life. Being in the bathtub tends to do that to me. I was running the steel blade of my razor up my leg when I came to the conclusion that I REALLY hope I am not/am not becoming/will not be one of those "LA pricks" so abhorred in popular culture. You know, the ones that are always like, "...well in LA..." I mean, I absolutely love living there, it's great, but my heart will forever be with Yellowstone and the Wasatch Mountains. Los Angeles could never compete with them.

I've also decided that all those people who think that Disney is a load of crap because it trains us to believe that the love in their movies is actually attainable can go suck it. I've decided that, despite how jaded and bitter I may be toward relationships and love, the stories like those of Ariel and Prince Eric or Aladdin and Jasmine are what keep real love alive. The stories are so beautiful and without them true love would dwindle into complete obscurity. Believing in such things is beautiful and keeps us striving for the best in our companions. That probably didn't make much sense, but whatever, this is my blog and I'll say what I darn well please.

I would also like to dare everyone to go out of their comfort zone and tell someone how you really feel about them and how much you appreciate them. I recently did so, and though it may not have born the fruit I was hoping for, I feel like it freed me in a way I've never felt before. God may not always give you exactly what you want, but if you put your heart out there for someone else, he will reward you someway, somehow.

Also, if anyone is in the LA area between now and January 2nd, or anywhere else the show will be coming in the next year, you should definitely go see the musical "Next to Normal". It will change your life. It's definitely not a completely family friendly show, but it is most definitely a great show. I cried my eyes out through the whole show and still went back to see it a second time (though I had some selfish reasons to be seeing it again). The whole cast gives a stellar performance from start to finish and if you go by the stage door afterward, they are all very friendly and seem more than willing to sign playbills and have a quick chat.

Baaaaaaaallllllssssyyyyyy

2010-12-18T00:30:00.000-08:00

Well, I've noticed that I've been a lot "ballsier" than normal lately. I guess that's a good thing. When you're "ballsy" you don't have the opportunity to wonder "what if". I mean, even if things don't work out the way you want them too, at least you tried. I personally believe that being "ballsy" helps people to grow up. You get in a lot more life experience that way (this coming from a twenty year old).

So here's to going "balls to the walls" and using lots of quotation marks!

Long live the "ballsy"!

"Goonies never say die!"

Just the Way I Like It

2010-12-10T23:31:00.001-08:00

Just the Way I Like It

The power you wield is explosive

You’ve blown my mind to smithereens

I want to repair the damage

But I like the way it looks to me

Torn, tattered, terrible

Bruised, battered, unbearable

And Just the way I like it.

I should be writing sonnets

Full of Iambic flowers

Instead my mind is full to the brim

Bound to explode in carnal showers

Violent, vulgar, volatile

Vulnerable, vindictive, vile

And just the way I like it.

I’ve built you up to mythic status

Like a monument to your grace

Such fragility, I’m afraid to touch you

But every time I see your face

I know that...

The power you wield is explosive

you’ve blown my mind to smithereens

I want to repair the damage

But I like the way it looks to me

Torn, tattered, terrible

Bruised, battered, unbearable

Violent vulgar, volatile

Vulnerable, vindictive, vile

I’m falling, falling, falling hard

Just the way I like it.

Insecurity

2010-12-10T23:30:00.001-08:00

Insecurity

I feel like a child

Pubescent and awkward in every way

The expectation is perfection

Perfection I cannot obtain

You’re too fat, you’re too short

You’re too dumb, you’re too smart

A world full of “too’s”

And too little “just right”.

I’m like Goldilocks on a trip

Where the story never ends

And the bears never left

But stood over taunting

Their claws over my head

Ready to rip to shreds at the slightest twitch

It is a bear, a beast.

Merciless and vengeful

A green monster of spite.

Lurking...

Waiting...

For just the right time to strike...

L.A. Love Affair

2010-12-10T23:19:00.000-08:00

L.A. Love Affair

Gold and blue is the sky.

I see your jagged outline,

Like monstrous teeth

Exuding romance of days gone by.

Sirens, they scream.

The air smells like sewage.

Streets full of shopping carts

Like a distopian dream.

A room full of friends;

Endless good times together,

Endless strife to unite us.

A unity that never ends

A place with so many personalities,

Our own personal city of sins.

Still, her beauty shines through.

Until forever, could I stay.

This is why I love you, L.A.

You

2010-12-10T23:14:00.000-08:00

*My creativity has been flowing strongly lately, so I've been writing poetry like crazy. Therefore, my next few post will be the poems I've written in the last couple of weeks.*

You

Your hair .

Your eyes.

Your face.

Your smile.

Your kindness.

Your joy in life.

Your voice.

Your lines.

Your everything.

You’re perfect.

Word of Wisdom (Or something like that)

2010-12-10T15:49:00.000-08:00

Word of wisdom for everyone (especially myself):

God works in mysterious ways. Everyone comes into our lives for a reason.

YOU CAN'T CONTROL IT!!!!!!!!

Getting into Character

2010-12-01T22:55:00.000-08:00

The Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Think of twenty fictional characters (television, films, plays, books, video games, etc.) who've influenced you and that will always stick with you. List the first twenty you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. [Optional] Tag fifteen friends. because I'm interested in seeing what characters my friends choose.

JD (Scrubs)
Elliot (Scrubs)
Topanga (Boy Meets World)
Christopher McCandless aka Alexander Supertramp (Into the Wild)
Olive (Little Miss Sunshine)
Natalie (Next to Normal)
Samantha Baker (16 Candles)
Michael Bluth/George-Michael Bluth (Arrested Development)
Alice (Twilight)
Holly Golightly (Breakfast at Tiffany’s)
Fanny Brice (Funny Girl)
Cady Heron (Mean Girls)
Ariel (The Little Mermaid)
Mia Thermopolis (The Princess Diaries)
Moritz (Spring Awakening)
Holden Caulfield (Catcher in the Rye)
Charlie (The Perks of Being a Wallflower)
Sam (Garden State)
Liz Lemmon (30 Roc)
Frodo Baggins (Lord of the Rings)

No Shave November?

2010-11-30T20:00:00.000-08:00

So, while I was in the shower tonight, I realized why "No Shave November" is not for women. I will have you know that now my legs and pits are smooth as a babies bottom. Thank you AMDA for stressing me out so much and using up all my time so that I have begun to look French.

So, here's to the greatness that is "No Shave November". Goodbye until next year!

You're welcome.

Just FYI BoyEEEEEz

2010-11-29T22:20:00.000-08:00

Shout out to all my ladies who get referred to as "bros". I have high hopes that someday a decent guy will realize that I am not in fact, a man, or "bro" and that I am quite womanly. I also have high hopes that someday a guy will realize that I am actually a woman, and feel the same emotions as other women.

In other words: I AM A GIRL AND I WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A GIRL SOMETIMES!!!!!!! STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE ONE OF THE BOYS ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!

Thank you, and have nice day! :)

Happy (Late) Thanksgiving!

2010-11-26T23:32:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to wish everyone a happy (late) Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for! I'm thankful for:

1) My family

2) My friends

3) The opportunity to live in LA and do what I love everyday.

4) The gospel of Jesus Christ in my life

5) The talents I have been blessed with and the opportunity to share them

6) All the luxuries that I have that so many people in this world do not, such as, clean water, food, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, shoes on my feet, and fairly good health.

My Heavenly Father has just blessed me so much and I hope everyone that reads this will be inspired to look at all they are blessed with and give thanks.

I love you all!!!!!!

Catch Me, I'm Falling

2010-11-24T00:09:00.000-08:00

Today was crazy. I've been sick for two days now and I was miraculously better for my amazing night tonight. Yes, it wasn't all fun and games as there where some rocky points, one involving a fruitless journey to an invisible Starbucks. But, alas things got better. I got to see "Next to Normal" and was completely blown away. What an amazing show. I can't believe I actually got to see Alice Ripley perform live. Not to mention that I got to see my dear friend Preston play the part of Henry. He was fantastic! After the show he took me and Thomas backstage and I got to see an old director of mine, Dontee Keihn, who is the choreographer on the show. Afterwards he stayed and talked to my friends and I for a while. I'm so proud of him and so proud to know such a talented person. I can't wait to hang out with him sometime soon.

Then on the way home we played an epic 8 stop game of subway surfing. I totally beasted it with a score of 0. I won!!! Then as we were coming out of the subway there was a homeless lady runing around with a pole in between her legs shouting "Someone help me, I have something up my a**!" And then she ran away giggling.

Oh, Hollywood...

Super Meredith to the Rescue!!!!!!

2010-11-20T01:34:00.000-08:00

I really need to be better at this whole keeping up with my blog thing. Thus, I am blogging at 1:35 in the morning. Granted, I was watching "Into the Wild" , one of my top 5 movies, and it always gets me thinking.

It's been a weird week. Very long. I had my first stage kiss (well, technically my first kiss ever, but it was in front of my whole class and with a gay man, so it still doesn't really count). It was awkward as all get out, but I'm glad I've finally gotten that over with. I figured, being an actor, it would happen eventually.

I was in a weird mood early in the week, kind of lonely, so I set my sights on saving the world. It happens about once a year, and I decided that it is my duty to try and save the planet. Last time, I went on an environmentalism kick, but this time I'm focusing on the human element. I watched a documentary about the "clean water crisis" and read an article about the food shortage around the world and another one having to do with the Fistula Foundation. So I spent my whole evening on Oxfam America's website signing petitions and looking for volunteer opportunities. I also discovered (well, rediscovered) a great game on www.freerice.com. It just a bunch of quiz sort of things and for every question you get right, they donate ten grains of rice to people in need. I know, being so busy with school and being so short on money, there isn't too much I can do, but the fact that I found this website makes me feel a little bit better about my contributions to society.

It's raining outside! I can't believe it. It's been pretty dry for the last couple of weeks. Today was a perfect cloud covered day. I love it when LA is like this, which isn't often. I could sit here and listen to the rain make it's beautiful music for days. It's moments like this that make me glad to be alive.

Adventures in Hollywood: Tool Academy Edition

2010-10-24T22:58:00.000-07:00

I am about to start my second week as a second semester at AMDA LA. That's right, I made it through my first week without killing a. My self b. My teachers c. My friends d. Any homeless people. So I would say that makes it a success.

My homework load is already ridiculous, so I'm a tad bit terrified for the rest of the semester. I already have to memorize a crap load of stuff. Tomorrow I start dance classes, so that'll be interesting.

I believe that this year I will get really good at snooping. You see, my apartment is in quite the opportune spot for this sport. The very end of the building, next to the patio thing. I guess people don't realize that someone lives here, so they stand right next to our window and talk really loudly, normally about themselves. I already have named one the biggest tool of all time. I really want to find a way to scare the crap out of him one day. Maybe that's mean. I don't care.

So, here's to a good next week and actually getting enough sleep.

Chick Flicks and Other Myths

2010-10-03T21:39:00.000-07:00

So, I've been in a bit of a mood lately. Things at home have been... less than ideal. Same goes for the rest of my life. Seeing as how I've been in this "mood", I've been watching a lot of chick flicks in hopes of getting a good cry. That cry hasn't been found yet, but what has been found is the complete unreality of these movies.

Now, I'm a complainer. I complain about my problems a lot. Especially regarding my romantic relationships, or lack thereof. So, most know my story, 20 years old and a total life virgin. That's right, never been kissed, never had a real boyfriend, never even held hands. So, that being said, these movies piss me off. Well, not just these movies, but ever television show too. For all the characters, unless their complete nerds or creeps, relationships come and go like the seasons. Everyone has a long list of ex's. So, I'm wondering, is this what the real world is like too? And if so, what's my deal? I mean, not to toot my own horn, but I think I'm a pretty nice catch. So what's with all the people around me, both in film and real life, and not all such... great catches, having relationships left and right. Getting to learn from their mistakes I guess. And then there's me, watching from the sidelines.

I use to get really sad about this, not so much anymore. I mean, I have a life and I've never had to make room for another person in my life, and I don't think I would know how to if one came along. But still, I wonder what this other life is like. What it's like to have someone who can't wait to see your face everyday. I'm starting to think that my new roommate was right when she said, "Maybe your just one of those people who will only have one person. And like, that person will be the one." I don't know if I want this or not. I mean, it is quite romantic. But, I don't know, maybe I want a little bit more excitement in my life. Excitement that I can control in some way. Or maybe I just want validation. Who knows, I sure don't.

Behold, Nutella, the Paste of the Gods!!!

2010-09-28T02:35:00.000-07:00

I think I have a microscopic piece of glass in my left index finger. I accidentally broke a candle holder in my bathroom while opening the window. You see, we got a cold front today, and I recently went through a faze where I enjoyed candle light baths on a daily basis. I doubt this cold front will even necessitate a jacket, but at least I won't brake a sweat just walking to my car. I'm getting really sick of getting to work with a big sweat spot on my back. Kids aren't exactly kind when it comes to that sort of stuff. Like today, I took my hair out of a ponytail, thinking it looked pretty good. Then a little girl asked me why my hair was all messed up. So, the pony tail was redone and stayed that way for a while.

I can't sleep. Actually, I don't particularly want to sleep. It use to be my favorite thing in the whole world. But lately, it just seems like a waste of time. That is, until I actually go to sleep, and then I don't want to wake up and anyone who tries wake me gets a fist full of fury to their fragile psyches. So, instead of sleeping, I have been shamelessly facebook stalking. You know, it's quite a great way to pass the time, especially when your avoiding packing. I leave for school in a week, and while I'm glad to go back, it's kind of bittersweet. I won't go into why, cause it makes me look like a stupid little girl, and I like to sometimes think of myself as an adult woman. So, instead of sleeping, or packing, I am babbling on my blog that, like, four people actually read, while The Weather Channel is on in the background (don't make fun! It's the only thing on at 4 in the morning and it soothes me). It's no wonder I'm a 20 year old life virgin. In order to make room for a guy I would have to get rid of my sacred rituals, like facebook stalking, needless blogging, Weather Channel watching, not packing, and stuffing my face with the last bites of Nutella left in the jar. I mean, who in their right mind would want to do that!

Anyway, my finger hurts, and I'm hungry, and I need to go ahead and read my scriptures so I can go to sleep and maybe not completely hate myself when a baby is vommiting on my pants and I can't keep my eyes open at work tomorrow... well, actually, later today.

What Rhymes with Kissy, Starts with a "P", and Describes Me?

2010-08-28T01:56:00.000-07:00

My face burns, my head hurts, my ovaries hurt, my nose won't stop running, I'm sneezy, allergies suck, my face looks like a pizza, my feet hurt, my butt's sore, I'm covered in flea bites, I have happy pills stuck in my throat, I'm depressed, my IBS is acting up, I'm too fat, the ice-maker doesn't work, the Sonic Ice is all stuck together, the dishwasher doesn't work, it's too hot in here, it's too hot out there, I'm not in California, my best friend's body has been taken over by school Nazis, I can't sleep, my Invisalign is cracked, my hair is too wet still, and the voices of the actors on "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" irritate the crap out of me but it's the only thing on tv at 4am.

By the way, I think I'm in a bad mood, or depressed, or something like that.

House Sitting a.k.a. I Want My Mommy!

2010-08-04T19:11:00.000-07:00

I have been home alone for 5 days now. I'm starting to go a bit stir crazy. I have at least 6 days left.

It's been a crazy time. My first day started off with my dog peeing red on the carpet. I freaked out! I didn't know what was going on. I thought my dog was dying and I was going to have to rush her to the doggy emergency room. All of this at 4 am. So I called my mom, crying. Then she told me, what everyone had forgotten to tell me: She's been doing this for months now. In fact, it's the reason we found out she has lung cancer. So, my mom calms me down, kind of, and I get off of the phone with her, and I sit on the stairs bawling my eyes out. So much that I started gagging and thought I was going to choke and die.

So, I finally get to bed a almost 6 am. Then I wake up at like, 3 pm and everything is going fine. I'm was suppose to go see one of my best friends in a production of "Singing in the Rain" and then go out to dinner afterward. I was so excited cause this was the first time I will be able to see her since I've been home from college. I get all dolled up and go out to the car. I turn the ignition and it sputters. I turn the ignition again and no sound at all. I turn it again. No sound. Again. No sound. Then I start crying. Again. I call my mom three times, and no answer. So I'm forced to call my dad, who's not the most comforting in crisis situations. He basically tells me it had to be something that I did and starts telling me to stop crying. NEVER tell a crying woman to stop crying. I yell at him to get my mom on the phone. She does her perfect motherly thing and calms me down enough to answer the door when a guy from church comes by (my dad called him) to help me with the car. We go out to the car and it starts for him the first try. Apparently you must have the priesthood to successfully start my car now. So I get in and it starts for me two times in a row. Talk about embarrassing. So I go back inside and call my mom, who tells me to get going to the show cause I need something good in my day.

So, I start driving to the show and I'm still kind of freaked out and a little teary-eyed. I'm almost there, when I realize I am barefoot and I forgot to bring my shoes. So not only are my eyes all puffy and red, all my make- up gone thus exposing my all of a sudden acne prone skin, but I am barefoot, going to a theater. So I start crying again until I remember I have a pair of obnoxious green flip flops in the back seat of my car left over from the move home from school. THANK YOU GOD!

I come home and try to take the dogs outside to go potty, since they had only gone once this day. They won't go. So I get out the leash. Success! The go out and I lead them around the yard. Then I start feeling pinching on my feet. There are fire ants covering my feet.

I run inside and wash my feet in the shower. Now my feet are all swollen and red with VERY itchy ant bites.

Fast forward 24 hours. I'm back at home and things are going a lot better. I decide to be domestic and clean make dinner for myself. I made pasta with cheese sauce. The cheese sauce didn't turn out the way it was suppose to, but it was still very good. I got to do the dished and the dished I put in earlier are still dirty, and, oh yeah, the dishwasher isn't draining. Another thing I was not told about: our dishwasher doesn't drain well. So I give up on domesticity and head for bed. The dogs have eaten my last pair of earplugs, and the remnants are strewn across the floor by my parents bed. Great. I had just watched Ghost Hunters and finished reading my book for the night, House of Leaves. I laid in bed for two hours, wide awake, jumping at every little sound. Again, I don't fall asleep until almost 6 am.

Fast forward to today. I've taken on my mom's duties and taken my granny out shopping, which in and of itself is a feat worthy of nice long nap. I love her to death, but my goodness, she's high maintenance. So I come home and take a nap until I need to leave for my church Institute class (it's like Bible study). I forgot to set an alarm. My class starts at 7: 30 in Alvin, 3o minutes down the road. I wake up at 8:30. So I get up and put on my pajamas and sit down with my computer. Then I start hearing sounds from the bathroom next to me. All the animals are either next to me or upstairs. I look in the bathroom and all of the shampoo and bodywash what-nots are on the floor of the shower. Their is a ghost in my parents shower. And to add to this, I keep hearing gurgling noises next to my chair. It seems they are coming from my dog and yes, she is having horrible gas. Either that, or there is something living under my chair, or under the bed. Either way, it's isn't exactly comforting.

Long story short. This house is too big and my mom needs to come home.

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes?

2010-08-04T19:03:00.000-07:00

I had a really weird dream last night. I was back at AMDA and it was all redone, really nicely. All the guys from Allview moved into the apartment next door to me in Vine and they were running around with prop machine guns "shooting up" the school. Meanwhile, I was a group leader for orientation and all of the people were going crazy and I had to keep them calm, cause I was the only one who knew it was fake. Then I met two girls who were Mormon, and that was awesome. Thomas, Kayla, Myself, and KayKay were the only MB's left, and we were in Kevin Owers' class with a bunch of first semesters and I was the only one who didn't have a song to sing. Thomas kept stealing my chair from me so some hot girl could sit next to him. So every time I went to sit down, I fell on the floor. Then I went into my dorm room, and it was an attic space painted yellow. Just big enough for my bed and walking around. The walls were covered with pictures of Molly Ringwald and some guy that looked just like her and posters for a movie with John Cusack and Duckie( from Pretty in Pink) where the are professing their love for 80's redheads. Then the movie ends up being in my room and I'm just watching them from the corner. Then I woke up.

Inception...

2010-07-16T22:39:00.000-07:00

was ridiculous. Everyone needs to see it now! It was a total mind trip. It really makes you think. The cinematograph was gorgeous and the screen play was so inventive. Definitely going on my "best movie ever" list. I don't know how this movie will not win Oscars.

It also made me realize two new life goals:

1. Be in a movie with Leonardo Dicaprio

2. Marry Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Also, I think this is the first movie I have seen where Cillian Murphy did not play the bad guy.

Does Anyone Else....

2010-07-15T19:47:00.000-07:00

Think Robert from So You Think You Can Dance is super hot?

Dear LA, please let me meet him!

Texas Irritants

2010-07-15T17:26:00.000-07:00

I have a few things on my mind today: allergies, irritants, marriage, and babies.

My allergies are going nuts! I think Texas has decided it hates me. I haven't had one good day, allergy free since I've been home. It could be the fact that I am significantly allergic to cats, and I have three that I love very much. Or, it could be the fact that Texas has every kind of pollen and mold possible. Especially Houston, it's like a breeding ground for all thinks miserable. You hate mosquitos? We've got swarms! You hate fire ants? We've got mountains of them! You hate humidity? It's always about 200% here! Not to mention the fact that it was 80 degrees INSIDE Walmart today. And people wonder why I don't like Texas.

I've been realizing lately that everyone is getting pregnant or getting married. It's ridiculous. My brother said it didn't start happening to all of his friends until he was about 21. I'm 18. Just about everyday I get onto facebook and see that another person is expecting or another person is engaged. What's going on. It's like I completely disappeared and everyone's lives but mine, fast forwarded about three years. Maybe I need to start drinking more water...

Song of the Post: The Chain- Ingrid Michaelson

Summer, Summer, Summertime

2010-07-08T15:14:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been home from school for a week and five days now and what have I done you ask? Well I've collected quite a lot of z's, made a couple handfuls of successful families on The Sims 3, caught up on all of my stories except for "Lost". I know, it's quite an impressive list. How did I do it all you ask? Well it took a lot of effort on my part. It's really hard to sleep so much and spend so very much time in bed, but I managed to do it. I give a good amount of credit to Pearland, Tx and it's minuscule amount of things for anyone above the age of 14 to do. It's been a long and hard journey, but I did it and I'm so proud of my self.

There is some news that might put a damper on my summer successes, I have a job interview tomorrow at the YMCA. I hope this doesn't make my summer too much more exciting!

CONGRATULATIONS

2010-07-03T23:30:00.000-07:00

When I talk to my friends at school in LA, I refer to two best friends, Sarah, the Hispanic one and Caitlin, the white one. I know, horrible, but that's beside the point. Above is a picture of Caitlin and myself. I am so very VERY proud to say that she is officially a New York City Radio City Rockette!!!!!!!!! When I found out, I was moved to tears. Just a year ago, I was terrified that I might never get to see her beautiful self again, not to mention terrified that she would never get to live out her dreams. Be here we are July 2010, and she is living her dream. Caitlin is one of my heroes. She's gone through so much, but she's still beautiful, sweet, smart, a has the strongest faith of anyone I know. She is such an inspiration and reminds me that dreams DO come true.

I love you Caitlin!

...Home?

2010-07-03T22:36:00.000-07:00

So, I'm home for the summer. It's been a week and all that I have done is job hunting, play The Sims 3, and a little unpacking. My first weekend was interesting, I went to a club called Rich's for my best friend's co-worker's birthday party. We had a good time dancing and it was a nice way to ween me back into this lifestyle. But other than that, it has rained. Rained, rained, rained some more, rained alot more, and rained again. I guess it's God's way of letting me know what I was missing while in L.A. I was originally very glad to be coming home. I had a great time at my brother's new house in Sacramento. I had really nice time driving home with my mom starting with a drive along the Pacific Coast Highway stopping in Morro Bay and making a detour to Hearst Castle down to Huntington Beach, CA, then cutting across California through Barstow, then over to Las Vegas and the Hover Dam, stopping in Kingman, AZ before checking out the Grand Canyon, then a time on Route 66 into New Mexico. Then down to El Paso where we were greated with a dust storm-thunderstom hybrid and a nice hotel where we could see over to Mexico. Then an epic 700 mile, one day treck home to Pearland. But now that I'm back, I'm missing Hollywood. I miss all of my friends so much, my beloved "Fam", my MB classmates, and even some certain people that I told myself I would not and could not miss. I'm already beginning to count down the days until classes start. This makes me happy though, since I never had a typical high school experience, and I vowed that college would make up for that. Now, I am proud to say that AMDA is doing just that, and then some. Don't get me wrong though, I am very glad to be home with my mom and to have seen my other brother this weekend, and of course, to see my animals. I guess it's just bittersweet.

Next order of business- I think my blog needs a new name. I originally got the idea for "Fresh Eyes in the Morning" from a Bright Eyes song and thought it was so clever. But now I don't think it's an adequate description about what this blog is all about. So if you feel so inclined, post a comment with your ideas. I would greatly appreciate them, though I guess I should try to come up with it myself (I actually did come up with one while I was doing my typical "I-can't-sleep-so-I'm-going-to-lay-here-and-try-to-solve-all-the-world's-problems" routine, but unfortunately I did eventually fall asleep and now I can't remember).

Also, you guys should check out at song called "Sunshine" by Atmosphere. A friend of mine introduced me to this song a while back and I fell in love. It's a pretty good summer song anyway, so check it out!

Stay sweet- Meredith

Nicotine

2010-05-16T01:26:00.000-07:00

You are everything I’ve never wanted
You are everything I’ll never need.
You are every vice, every thorn, every bad habit.
You are like a drug with nothing but side effects.

You are everything I want.
You are everything I think I need.
You are every smile, every flower, every good deed.
You are like my Vitamin C.

You are everything I never needed.
You are everything I see.

When I walk outside the door, I hope to see you there.
When I hear you sing a song, I hope it’s about me.
When I close my eyes to dream at night, I hope you’re dreaming about me.
When I can’t find the light, I hope you’ll be my sun.
When I feel like I’m trapped in a prison, I hope you’ll come to the rescue.

You are everything I never needed.
You are everything I see.

2010-05-09T01:58:00.000-07:00

Check Out My Glee Audition

2010-04-20T22:06:00.000-07:00

Please go check out my Glee audition and give me gold stars so my dreams of being a movie star can come true!

http://www.myspace.com/gleeauditions?link=31475628

Long Lost Poetry

2010-02-27T18:52:00.000-08:00

So here are some poems I've been meaning to post for quite a long time. It's crazy how school gets you so wrapped up.

All the ways I feel

Are bubbling up inside

One way and then another

But one thing remains the same

The way I feel for you

And the undeniable truth that you will never feel the same

So the feelings will go back and forth and over my head

Around the room and back again

Through my heart until it breaks

And all the kings men can't put it together again.

The way it use to be was heaven and hell

But most of the days it was the first

Now that the secrets exposed and change forced upon me

It seems it will always be the latter.

So I see the undeniable truth that you will never feel the same

So the feelings will go back and forth

And over my head

Around the room and back again

Through my heart until it breaks

And all the kings men can't put it together again

To God I plead down on my knees

To make the pain go away

I'm on my knees, to the Lord I plead

To make the shame fade away

Still the feelings go back and forth

And over my head

Around the room and back again

Through my heart until it breaks

And all the kings men can't put it together again

And the second:

There's never a dull moment inside my head

The colors and sights are so vivid

Like a land of faries and butterfly wings

All up to one corner

It's in this corner that I store my fear and sadness.

It's in this corner that loneliness dwells

Although it's just a corner,

That it all it takes

To overcome my entire being

With paranoia and tears

Their colors are black and blue

And their effects are everlasting

Some say to live and let live

But within my corner,

It's live and let die.

And in my corner I stay.

Tales of Hollwyood: Keeping Up

2010-01-18T18:13:00.000-08:00

Kay, so I'm trying to be better at this whole blogging thing, but it just doesn't seem to be working. I haven't had much interesting to write about lately, and if I had written, it would have been just a bunch of whiney sentences.
So, I guess to keep everyone in the loop, I'll just say that I'm doing fine. Hollywood is crazy as always and I'm super swamped with work since it's the almost the end of the semester.

Tales of Hollywood: Dear Lord....

2010-01-10T14:07:00.000-08:00

So, it's 2:07 pm on a Sunday in Los Angeles and I am sitting in the AMDA computer lab taking in the lovely leftover barbecue pit smell from the fire in the elevator shaft last Tuesday. I'm not super happy seeing as how today I was suppose to take two of my best friends to church at 3:00 and have a gay old time, hopefully ending with me recieving some life changing revelation. But instead, both friends crapped out, and I found out that contrary to my dad's sworn belief, church started at 2:00 while I was in my crap clothes catching up on blogs because my own laptop won't even turn on, and I have rehearsals for my scene in acting at 4:00. So instead of having this wonderfully, life changing church experience, I will be wallowing in my normal self pity. Ain't life grand.

Though, I'm not saying that I don't have anything to be happy about. Yesterday, Anna, Jacob, and I went to the park from my new favorite movie 500 Days of Summer, called Angel's Knoll in downtown Los Angeles. It was picture perfect, literally, we took pictures. I still can't believe that I live here. Los Angeles, the city of angels, the second largest city in the US. It really is quite crazy. And all the while, I'm at school, not slaving away on term papers about things that I don't give a crap about, but doing what I love and having a gay old time doing so. I just wish that for once I could have a day where I go to bed saying, "Golly gee, today was just grand!" But I guess that's just not realistic.

I don't know why people hate LA. I absolutely love it. It's just full of so much life and color. Everywhere you turn, there is something to do, or something beautiful to look at. The people are generally quite hospitable, except for the crazy homeless people on the street corners. And the weather is almost perfect, compared to Houston. I really am so glad that I'm here.

It would just have been nice to have been able to attend church today...

Tales of Hollywood: The Beginning...

2009-10-14T21:20:00.000-07:00

Alas, my posts from Hollywood begin! So what do I have to say on this subject? Two words:

Holy Crap!!!

So, just in my first full day in here, guess who I happened to spot at Target while buying junk for my apartment? Donald Faison, a.k.a. "Scrubs" Turk Turkelton and Harold Perrineau, a.k.a Michael "The Black Guy" from "Lost". Yes, it is true, celebrities shop at my favorite sort-of-discount store. I don't think I have ever been so excited in my whole life. And of course, I immediately called my brother, since they're from his two favorite t.v. shows. I'm pretty sure he about had an aneurysm from all of the mind blow going on with this story.

Turk was very tall, not so black, and wearing camouflaged sweat pants. I guess that's why I had such a hard time seeing him. (I know, bad joke) Michael was also, pretty disguised in a skull cap and was much blacker than Turk. It took me, three plus walk by's before I even realized why he looked familiar. And on that last walk by it hit me, "HOLY CRAP! THAT'S BLACK GUY FROM LOST". I know, quite the, well, blatant statement, but I couldn't think of his name, so cut me some slack.

Personally, I believe it was a gift from God to help me get over my nerves, cause they were definitely replaced with excitement after that.

I absolutely cannot wait for the rest of my time here!

It's A Bitter Sweet Symphony

2009-10-07T20:21:00.000-07:00

It's so crazy how things change. Just six months ago, I was planning on going to BYU this fall and couldn't wait to leave this town because I felt I had no friends. Six months later, I'm about to move to Los Angeles to go to AMDA and can't stand the thought of leaving because I have such amazing friends.

I'm trying to pretend that Tuesday isn't coming. There's just so much I still want to do. I feel like a ticking time bomb. I have so many people that I still want to spend time with and so many things that I still want to accomplish but there just isn't enough time. And on top of that, I haven't even begun to pack yet.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm super excited for my future in Los Angeles, but it's still quite bitter sweet. I just wish I could take everyone with me. I know everything will be alright though, and I won't be gone forever. I guess the Lord is just trying to make me appreciate what I have for once.

So, here's to the future!

Song of the Blog: "Penny and Me" by Hanson.

What's On My Mind Today

2009-09-30T21:01:00.000-07:00

* I'm moving to Los Angeles in exactly two weeks...AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

* I'm terrified of the future.

* I'm so excited for the future.

*Girls make planning dates so frustrating. It does not have to be this hard!

* I don't handle stress well, if at all. It's been way too long since I've had to deal with this kind.

*Glee makes me so freaking happy!

*Ingrid Michaelson reads my mind.

*Sometimes being awkward is okay, sometimes it's not so okay.

*I have no life and I don't know if I'll be able to handle it once I do.

* The news makes me feel like a really bad person. There is so much going on in the world, and yet I'm still worried about all this?

2009-09-23T21:11:00.000-07:00

As I've been preparing to move out to LA, a number of things have been going through my mind; will I like my roommates, will I make any friends, how am I going to be without my mom, am I going to be able to deal with all the stress of school, what will I do without all of my friends here? Needless to say, I've been pretty stressed and relying very much on the Lord and my faith in him. So, today's lesson at Institute, which focused mainly on Christ's atonement, was perfect for me. I ended up baring my testimony, and my soul, a balling my eyes out. It was quite nice, especially hearing all the thanks from other people for doing so. It made me feel really good.

So then on the way home, I blasted Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" with the windows down. It was just so perfect and freeing. It was one of those infinite moments that I cherish so much. And it's such a great song. Not to mention the perfection that is the "Glee" cast version. It gives me chills every time I watch it.

After that, I blasted Ingrid Michaelson's "You and I" and Noah and the Whale's "Five Years Time". If was really great. I love those songs so much. They just make me so happy and bring everything into perspective.

Tonight I am finally full of hope and optimism for my future.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNB1EUJg1-w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8YCSJpF4g4

http://www.viddler.com/explore/Fragua/videos/1/

I'm Out- Meredith

A Very VMA-Side Story

2009-09-13T23:48:00.000-07:00

WHAT WHAT? Say what? That's right, tonight was the MTV Video Music Awards and this year was actually quite entertaining. As I was Twittering (yes, I Twitter) about the VMA's, I decided i should write a blog of my critiques of sort.
First off, Lady Gaga, or as we refer to her in my circle, Lady G. What the freak was she wearing? Through out the show, it became a sort of game for me to spot her fabulously outrageous ensembles. First Mardi Gras-esque one eyed mask with a gold plated, black feather covered neck brace that looked as if she broke her neck, got in a fight with a glue stick and proceeded to attack a flock of crows, who then tried to peck her eye out. Next, her performance outfit (by the way, her performance was top notch Campiness) which was, by the end of the performance, looked like Marie Antoinette on a serial killing spree. After that came her glorious outfit especially for accepting the Best New Artist award, a red lace dress, apparenly turned backward with the hood up over her face and a matching King Triton crown (I believe she took a cue from OkGo). And last, but certainly not least, her lion mane of birds nests during Andy Samberg and Jimmy Fallon's skit. Lady G, kudos to your brilliant fashion insanity!
You know how I have had this love affair with Kanye West and my Kanye shoes? Well, the Kanye West part may potentially be over after his little scene stealing escapade during Taylor Swift's acceptance speech. Personally, I believe that MTV planned it before hand, much like the Eminem controversy during the MTV Movie Awards, to spoof his other similar escapade we he thought he should have gotten an award at some show last year (I'm really fuzzy on the specifics). Yes, Kanye, you have great style, your not to hard on the eyes, and you definately have talent, but Taylor Swift is pretty much the sweetest, most adorable celebrity ever. She looked like she was about to cry, and probably did once she got of stage. And leave it to Beyonce to be the female Barrack and let Taylor make up for that moment. So shame on you Kanye, and if this was not planned by MTV, we are sooooooo over!
I guess I have to mention the Michael Jackson tribute. I'm not a big fan or anything, I mean, I like his music and all, but I didn't cry when he died (I hope that didn't sound super insensitive). But, that tribute was pretty great. It made me teary eyed. The dancing was top notch and Janet's performance was great. I especially loved the ending with the picture of her and Michael together. And did any other Morms feel awkward when Madonna didn't end her speech "In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen"?
And last, of course, I must mention the pinnacle of my VMA experience. Jimmy Fallon and Andy Samberg. Together. On Stage. Funny together. In that moment, MTV almost restored my love for their station. Almost.
So MTV, kudos to you for putting on a great show, and kudos to Russel Brandt for a great job hosting and for offending less people than last year.

Big points to anyone else who saw Lady G's last birds nest outfit. And even bigger points if you can find a picture.

We'll SIng a Song that We all Know...Happy Birthday (Clap) to You!

2009-09-09T20:34:00.000-07:00

It's now less than a week away from my birthday. That's right, on Tuesday, I will officially be 19 years old! I'm pretty excited, a little bit scared, and slightly disappointed. Nineteen just sounds so old to me. I mean, I know it's not, but it sounds old when you're eighteen.
I've done alot in the last year. I graduated a semester early, I got my first and second job, I saw a couple of concerts, I went on my first road trip with friends, I got my first ticket and completed my first (and hopefully last(This goes for the ticket thing too)) defensive driving course, made a best friend, made my first trip to Los Angeles, got into a great college (The American Musical and Dramatic Academy) with a top notch musical theater and film acting program, had my first even semi close person to me die, got my first car, went on my first date, saw two friends have children, and had my first two friends get married. All of this among many other things.
There are also alot of other things that I wish I had accomplished. I wish I had gotten a better grade point average, so I could have gotten into BYU and turned it down for AMDA. I wish I would have had my first boyfriend. I wish I could have been in more shows. I wish I could have gone dancing at a club. This, also, among many other things.
But, looking into the future, I have so much going for me, and so much to look forward to. I'm going to be moving to LA in about a month to start college. This alone is going to bring forth so many amazing opportunities to me. I'm so excited for this, and pretty terrified. But I know that if I trust in the Lord and remain dilligent in following his teachings, that I will have nothing to worry about. I'm so thankful for that knowledge and for the gospel in my life. I know that the Lord will always be there for me, if I just trust in him, and that has made all the difference.

Switching topics. here are a couple new songs for you to check out.

MGMT- Electric Feel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtUI5MC9tVM

Just Kait- Sick

Queens of the Stone Age- Make It Wit Chu

Air- Surfing on a Rocket

Manchester Orchestra- I've Got Friends
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRUOB3Ztv-Y

Cage the Elephant- Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

Cold War Kids- Hang Me Up to Dry
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvTKhM6F85U

I'm Out- Meredith

Dumb Teenage Drivers

2009-09-05T21:16:00.000-07:00

Well, quite the eventful night. When I was brainstorming about this blog on the way home from the Institute Opening Social, it was just going to be my normal blog, complaining about being single and awkward around guys. Well, that's not the case anymore as while driving home i had quite the terrifying experience. I was driving down a country road trying to get to 35, when I noticed a couple cars behind me driving erratically and the one closest behind me was swirving from side to side of this tiny, two lane, no shoulder road. I was a little put off to say the least. Then once I turned onto 35, the proceeded to box me in, drive right on my bumper, with their brights on. I was absolutely terrified. They continued to drive like this, trying to make me go faster, for a few miles. Finally, I decided to slow down, and they went around me. Luckily at this point in time, I was right by a road I knew well, so I turned off of 35 onto that road, to get away. Luckily for me, they continued on 35.
Once I got home and told my parents, they called the cops. After giving a report over the phone, they sent to officers to my house. I was so scared, simply because I'm terrified of them, but they ended up being quite helpful. I felt so proud of myself, because, through all the stress of that event, I managed to get the liscence plate of one of the trucks so the officers can ticket them and scare the pants off of those dumb kids.
What else is crazy, is that I similar thing happened to a friend of mine just last week. But in this event, the people got out of their truck and surrounded the car, beating on the windows, and then chased them around Pearland for a good 20 minutes.
I don't know what makes people think that they can do these sort of things to people. It's not cool, it completely idiotic, not to mention how dangerous it is! And did I mention, that when this happened to me, it was pouring down rain?
It's amazing how a simple trip home from a church activity of all things, could turn into an experience, making me scared for my life. I swear, instead of upping the legal age for driving or anything like that, the state should make people take IQ tests. That would for sure reduce accidents and such tremendously.

On a lighter note, I wanted to give you the reader, some great music to ponder during your Labor Day weekend. I got these songs off of some free itunes samplers and put them on a mix cd that I've been jamming out to in my car for weeks. I love these songs so much. And make sure that when you listen to them, it is at a level that is too loud for your mother to listen to, but low enough that it doesn't hurt your ears (I'm not here to advertise premature hearing loss).

Edward Sharp & the Magnetic Zeros- 40 Days Dream

Allie Moss- Corner

Ladyhawke- My Delirium

Band of Skulls- I Know What I Am

And these other few are just some old stand byes that I really enjoy.

Modest Mouse- Fire It Up

Kings of Leon- Day Old Blues

Air- Surfing on a Rocket

I was totally going to put up the videos for the rest of these, but it's late and my computer is super slow. So you can youtube them yourselves if you want to..

No Prozac= Lots of Gripes.

2009-09-04T00:24:00.000-07:00

So I haven't taken my Prozac in two days. This wasn't purposeful by any definition of the word, but none the less, it happened. Therefore I am writing this list.

Meredith's Gripes of the Week

1. I'm sick and tired of people getting angry at me for obeying traffic laws. Take a frickin chill pill and take that lead foot off of the gas. It's not that hard.
2. Mosquito bites need to die. Stop waking me up in the middle of the night with you ceaseless itching. Benadryl ointment can only do so much good.
3. Getting welcomed home by being lectured on what I need to do so I can stop being such a horrible child.
4. Getting welcomed home by being lectured on how I can go about loosing all this apparently unsightly weight that apparently makes a certain family member so embarrassed to be a part of the same household.
5. Trying to catch up on my stories, but getting distracted, so I have to watch the show for the third time, because I have no earthly idea what happened.
6. I don't want to stay in California for Christmas. I want to come home and see my friends and be in my own house and I want all my family to be there too for once.
7. Wearing cap sleeves does not make you a fugly slut! And yes, I am going to continue wearing them until I begin wearing garments and I will probably wear them more now.
8.Why is my room always so freaking dirty? I clean it on a daily basis.
9. Why does my room continue to smell like cat pee even though I don't allow the cat with the bladder issues in said room? It makes no sense! No wonder I can't get any dates. It's probably cause I smell like cat pee all the time.
10. Modesty. Not the concept, but the actual act. Modesty is great. I don't want to look like a hoe and I most definitely want to present myself as a beautiful daughter of God that respects her body, but why does it have to be so hard. And why does it have to be seemingly impossible to find an undershirt in the state of Texas that covers my boobs. I mean, I know I'm quite large there, but jeez Louise, it can't cost that much more to ad an inch more fabric to a tank, the sure do manage to do it in Utah, and in Walmart at that!
11. Go away fleas! I'm sick of having to pick you off of my cats and I'm sick of you making them so miserable. Go pick on someone your own size, or better yet, die and stop covering every surface of my house in your poop!
12. Having to take Prozac every single day just to avoid writing blogs such as this.

Congratulations to Sister Magnolia Montez on being called to serve in the Florida, Tampa mission. You'll be the best missionary ever! I love you so much!

"Extract" was a great movie. I love me some Jason Bateman.

I'll go take those happy pills now.

A Woodstock Nation

2009-08-22T23:49:00.001-07:00

I have been sooooooo pumped for "Taking Woodstock" to come out, but somehow, I failed to realize that it is coming out Friday. FRIDAY? You know what that means.... midnight showing dressed in my finest hippie attire. I'm so excited for this movie. I don't know what it is, but for the longest time, I have had a strange obsession with Woodstock. It probably stems from the fact that my mom wishes she would have been there, so she's been living vicariously through me, telling me as much as she can about the magical time that was the 60's. I guess it's just the fact that people seemed to have a passion for live that is rarely found these days and the fact that that many young people could come together of their own accord and celebrate peacefully. I mean, nowadays you can't even get ten teenagers to twentysomethings in a room together with out world war 3 errupting. I recently watched a documentary on Woodstock and it just seemed like such a magical time. I would give anything to have been a part of it (minus the drug usage).
Also, I cannot go without mentioning Emile Hirsch being in the movie. I love him so much. I've only seen two of his movies, but two is plenty for me to appreciate his greatness. His role in "Into the Wild", amazing. His role in "Milk" adorably great, even with a physically image quite similar to Napoleon Dynamite. He's just so adorable and so talented. So, to tide myself and you readers over until Friday, here is a (for lack of a better word and a better vocabulary) adorable picture of Emile and the official "Taking Woodstock" trailer.

Enjoy !

Oh How I Love Incubus!

2009-08-22T15:57:00.000-07:00

I saw Incubus in concert at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavillion in the Woodlands. The show was completely amazing. It didn't start out as so, since it was postponed due to weather, thus we were completely drenched in that weather waiting for the concert to start. But once we got into the Pavillion, things got better. Even though we were surrounded by smokers and pot heads, we still had a great time. The audience was amazing. You could tell from the expressions on the band members faces. I've never heard an audience as loud and enthusiastic. It was exactly what I needed after the less than stellar week I have had. Just thought I'd share that with you. I would write more, but I didn't get home until 1:30 am, so my energy is slightly lagging today. Anywho, God Bless!

Questions and Answers Stemming From Boredom

2009-08-04T20:30:00.000-07:00

I'm so effing bored! Thus, this blog.
Is it wrong that my sleeping schedule is ruled by Chelsea Lately and E! News? Probably.
Is it gross that I keep wearing the same YMCA shirt to work even though it is covered in baby slobber and throw up? Probably.
Is it wrong that I watched the new episodes of John & Kate Plus 8 even though I hate them? Probably.
Is it wrong that I got a Blizzard at Dairy Queen last night just because I was angry with my father?
Is it sad that I'm thinking about rescheduling my orthodontist appointment because I don't want to wake up that early tomorrow?
These are the questions plaguing my mind this day.
I'm so ready to go to LA. My parents think that it is going to be horrible and that I am going to become a Satan worshiper, or worse, a Scientologist. My dad keeps meeting random people that tell him how much the hate LA and how shocking it is that my parents are letting me go there. I keep meeting church members who love it there and think it's going to be the best experience of my life. All of my prayers have been answered, telling me that going to AMDA is what I'm suppose to do. I just have a feeling that something great is going to come out of this. Either I am going to become famous and make a difference in the world, or I am going to make a difference for the better in on person's life. Either way, it will be worth it. I can't wait to prove everyone wrong.

I'm Not Afraid of the Black Man Running...

2009-06-16T21:38:00.000-07:00

So, today my best friend started freaking out because she couldn't see a black guy that was on the side of the road because he was so black.
Wow.
Ten points if you can name what song this title is from.

Just Almost

2009-06-01T20:33:00.000-07:00

Almost is just that.
Almost.
Almost made it,
Doesn't get you there.
Almost got it,
Doesn't get it.
Almost.
Almost should be there,
Right next to torture
Almost is just that.
Almost.
Almost won't get you into that college.
Almost won't win you that man.
Almost is never quite where you want it.
Almost is just that.
Almost.
i bid you adieu almost.

On the Worth of Worth

2009-06-01T20:30:00.000-07:00

Worth is worth nothing if not in the eye of the holder.
It's what's in front of you that counts.
As long as your not too much of anything.
Because too much is too much.
No matter the beauty.
Worth is worth nothing if not in the eye of the holder.
There is only one way out,
Though tis blocked by gates of fire.
So ever more worth weighs like bricks in your sack.
But we are told to develop our induvidual worth,
For that is what counts in the end.
But the end takes it's sweet time.
Endings like to taunt and tease.
Making the fire's flicker that of a meadow.
Because worth is worth nothing if not in the eye of the holder.

Psychics, Jews, Samber,Tina Fey, and Weird Obsessions

2009-04-13T20:10:00.000-07:00

I really need to keep up with this thing better, so I'm just going to start posting random, short, blurbs from my thoughts.
First off, I would like to say that I really hate it when ghostie shows have psychics. It's so cheesy. Like, even if these people really were sensitive, there's no way to prove it, so on a show where proof is the sole purpose, it's just dumb. Plus they're always really creepy old men or women who, like, think their vampires.
Next, I would like to take time to let you know of my slightly unhealthy obsession with Saturday Night Live. Let it be known that ever since I was in 5th grade, I have planned to be a cast member one day. Totes ma gotes! I love it. I think it is the most amazing show ever. I love every cast member , especially Andy Samberg (I want your babies) and Tina Fey (I want your genius babies).
Last, but not least, I would like to make an official note of my weird attraction to Jews and those men that look like Jews. I don't know what it is but those ginormous shnozes totally turn me on. This obsession has been slowly developing from the tender age of 11 when I realized that Louis Stevens was amazing. Now, better known as Shia Lebouf, I still can't get enough. I could list all of the Jews that have made an appearance on my "Feel Free to Disturb Me at Any Time" list, but I will spare you the awkwardness. Just let it be known that I really want a Jew/Mormon baby and we will have a new family crest made in our honor; the Star of David with the Angel Moroni in the center. It may be blasphemy, but it is sweet, sexy blasphemy!

Sunday Happiness

2009-03-23T20:48:00.000-07:00

As I was driving to church in Clear Lake this last Sunday, I was stopped at a light. I looked over to my left and saw two white girls blasting rap music and going full out with their "ghetto moves" while sitting in Daddy's Lexus. Then, as I'm rolling my eyes, a big black guy walks by their car, stops to look at them, and proceeds to walk away while shaking his head as if to say,"Nigga please. That's just wrong." It made my day.
I really dislike rich, preppy, white girls and dislike those that like to act like their "ghetto" even more.

Too Much

2009-02-15T19:58:00.000-08:00

I've used up all my tears
My eyes are dry
Though I can feel them still
Trickling down my cheeks.

I am completely numb
Though I'm in agonizing pain
My stomach retches
My skin crawls.

I can't feel anything for you
Yet I feel everything
You're in my every though
I want to taste your every breath

I hate myself
I know I am gorgeous
I know I am kind
I just make dumb choices.

My feelings are too strong.
I'm an old soul
Too old for this earth
Let me skip ahead.

Faith is too hard for me now.